Good Cover Songs...Isn't That Oxymoronic?

I hate cover songs. Hate 'em. Musicians taking other people's music and ruining it. In my opinion it's lazy. It's okay to like a song. It's okay to play a song you like live at a concert for your fans. Don't record it on an album.
It says to me "Well, I don't have enough creativity to come up with one last track for my CD, so I'll just piggyback off someone else's work." Especially "Knockin' on Heaven's Door." How many times has that been covered? Enough already.
Like all things in life, I thought that there must be some exceptions to the rule. There must be some cover songs that even I like. I tried to think of at least one. I came up with ten. There might be more, but let's face it. There aren't that many good covers, especially ones made after 1999.
Here's my list (in no order) and a little explanation why for each:

1. "Hungry Like the Wolf"- originally by Duran Duran, performed by Reel Big Fish- The reason why is pretty simple. It's different. Reel Big Fish are masters at taking poppy tunes of the '80's and making sweet ska covers out of them. I like it because it sounds little to nothing like the original song other than the lyrics and singing. While okay, I found the original hard to dance to (for me at least), while this cover makes it easy to bust a crazy move or two.

2. "Higher Ground"- originally by Stevie Wonder, performed by Red Hot Chili Peppers- The original was jazzy and fast while the cover was jazzy and fast...and had a sweet bass sound. The melody was the same, but exchange of guitar and bass didn't try to replace or usurp the original, but seemed to add to it. It's like taking an already delicious sandwich, then adding bacon to it.

3. "Turn the Page"- originally by Bob Seger, performed by Metallica- Seger's song about struggle is grand with the sax playing in the background. It's good and mellow and full of uncertainty. Metallica maintained the same feelings and then added the feeling of frustration and quelling anger to the song with heavy guitar riffs substituting the sax and James Hetfield's more aggressive vocals.

4. "Cum on Feel the Noize"- originally by Slade, performed by Quiet Riot- Has anyone in my generation heard of the original version? Didn't think so. Hence the reason it's on the list.

5. "All Along the Watchtower"- originally by Bob Dylan, performed by Jimi Hendrix- I guarantee that many people think that this song was originally performed by Hendrix other than Dylan. Jimi's trademark guitar style adds to a normally slower song.

6. "We're Not Gonna Take It"- originally by Twisted Sister, performed by Bif Naked- A great cover of a metal classic and the only thing Bif Naked is known for.

7. "It's Not Easy Being Green"-originally by Kermit the Frog (Jim Henson), performed by Ray Charles- I love Muppets. I firmly believe that all educational programming, including college material, should be taught by puppets. I also love this song. It speaks on how being yourself and being different is something to celebrate about. It talks about liking who you are instead of striving to be someone else. Ray Charles' vocals have confidence and adds validity to the song's message without the goofiness of Kermit's voice.

8. "Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 1, 2, 3"- originally by Pink Floyd, performed by Korn- I normally cringe whenever anyone covers the immortal Pink Floyd. However, this medley puts all the separated parts together in one long great tribute. Jonathan Davis' voice adds even more passion and anger to an already angry song without tainting the melody.

9. "Pardon Me"- originally by Allison Moorer, performed by Incubus- I was shocked when I found out that this was a cover. Did you know it was a cover? If it's a good enough cover that no one even talks about it being a cover then it's gotta be a great cover. It's also one of my favorite all around tunes.

10. "Hurt"- originally by Nine Inch Nails, performed by Johnny Cash- I hate country. Hate it. Can't stand a second of it. When I flip through the radio and catch a glimpse of a country song, I immediately think "ugh." It's just my taste. This song, however, is my favorite cover. Heck, it's one of my favorite all around songs. The original is pretty good, but the way Cash plays it, it puts a different perspective on the song overall. This is the last single Cash had before he passed away and when you listen to it, it sounds like he is saying his final words and thoughts to the world before he's given his last rites. The pain in the bellow of Cash is resonant and puts more meaning into a song filled of memory and regret. I actually have tears in my eyes whenever I hear it. "I will make you hurt."

Let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear your opinion of your favorite covers. I still hate them, but like most things in life, there are indeed exceptions. Perhaps, I'll be more receptive to them...as long as it's not "Knockin' On Heaven's Door."

My TV Names

As a fun little exercise, I thought it would be good to give the titles of some popular television programs some new names and a little blurb about them for the uniformed.

Real name/My name

24/ Jack Bauer's Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day or Kiefer Sutherland Presents the Hourly Plot Twist!
Seriously, no one has a worse day than Jack Bauer...NO ONE. Every time I have a bad day, I can always say, "Well, at least I'm not Jack Bauer." I think that's why the show is so popular. It makes others feel good about their lives.

The Shield/Malicious Mackey and his Band of Brigands! or Crime Isn't Just for Criminals
Michael Chiklis is the man. It's a great show about cops...dirty cops! Seriously, there isn't another show on television that screams "How's he getting out of this one?" without it becoming comical.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia/Welcome Back, Seinfeld
The only show on television that makes Seinfeld comparisons without overtly coping Seinfeld.

The Office/Yes, Improv Can Be Funny on Television
The best network comedy on TV is also the most loosely written. It's refreshing to see a TV executive say "Hey, instead of focusing on funny lines being delivered by actors, let's let funny actors deliver lines."

The Amazing Screw-On Head/A Show So Good It Will Be Cancelled Within 3 Years Due to the Network "Not Getting It"
Check it out here:http://www.scifi.com/amazingscrewonhead/

Arrested Development/Seriously, FOX, You Lost Your Best Sitcom in Years
I'm still mad that this was cancelled. Cinema verite, no laugh track, and the best running gags involving Carl Weathers and FOX still cancelled it. Haven't you learn anything from Family Guy?

The Simpsons/Seriously, How is a Cartoon Almost as Old as Me? or The Little Prime Time Animated Show That Could...and Did
The Simpsons have been on for so long I have little memory of my life prior to the Simpsons airing. While it has gotten goofier than normal, it's still one of the funnier things on TV.

Family Guy/I Hope You Know Pop Culture
I love the show, but most of the humor won't be funny if you woke up from a coma that you've had since 1985.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart/Just as Fake as Real News
It's a funny program and informative, but it's frightening to think that most people get their real news from a comedy program.

Grey's Anatomy/Sex in a Hospital...The Show
At work aren't doctors supposed to help the sick and wait for nookie for after they clock out?

Anything on Nick Jr./Babysitter for Wayward Parents
That's an uncalled-for slam since some of the programs help children learn and read, but it's still no substitute for parents teaching children.

American Idol/Syrupy Songs with Amateurs Hour
Despite my distain for A.I., I'm not suprised that more people vote for that show than in elections.

SNL/Is It Funny Again?
Seriously, is it funny again?

Metalocalypse/Nathan Explosion's Heavy Comedy
Can Metal music be funny? Short answer is yes.

The O.C./Angsty Teens with Too Much Money
I know a good chunk of people like it, but it's the same as 90210. However with more money...and those teens in Beverly Hills were rich!

Boston Legal/Mr. Shatner's Courtroom
Bill Shatner in a court setting can't be anything but Shatastic (which is good).

According to Jim/What's According to Jim? or Seriously, What's According to Jim?
This show has been on for years and I keep wondering why.

Fear Factor/Eat Weird Things for Money!
Seriously, it might be gross but when did being disgusted get confused with being afraid?

Keep clickin.'

My Take on Pro Wrestling a.k.a. Leave Me Alone

When I started this online blog or journal or whatever, I told myself I wouldn't talk about wrestling too much. Why? Because 95% of people who are probably reading this aren't fans, have no opinion, or just plain don't like it.
I'm not saying you should. People's interests vary. However, since I was ten years old when I first started watching wrestling, whenever it was brought up that I watched it, I felt like I always had to defend it or justify it. Some people just won't let it go.
When someone mentions "I like the Sopranos," the majority of the time the reaction is "I like it," "I don't like it.," "I heard good/bad things about that," or "What's the Sopranos?" Then the conversation moves from there.
Either they talk about it or they don't, without the Sopranos fan needing to defend his reasoning for liking it either to save face or prove himself intelligent. Sure he can give his reasons and points out why he likes it, but it isn't socially coerced.When a person mentions "I like hockey, football, ballet, ice skating, etc.," the reaction is the same. Like it, don't, heard, or uninformed. The conversation either moves on to the next topic, continues, or has the fan explaining the rules to the interested uninitiated.
Probably someone might say "Football sucks," but neither of them is seen as lesser in terms of opinion.Now when wrestling is brought up in front of others, in my personal experience, the majority of the time there is negativity. I have yet to hear someone say to me "Huh...that's cool I guess," The question is always "Why?" Or, 90% of the time, "Why do you watch that crap?"
Whenever I've mentioned that I watch The Simpsons, not one person asked "Why?" When I've said that I watch hockey no one says "Why?" The reason? They didn't care why or just accepted the fact that it appealed to me.
People normally either found common ground or just moved on. There wasn't a bombardment of questions. I just like Simpsons and hockey. You do or don't or want to know more. That's it.

Why do you watch that crap?
I like the athletic exhibition, the cheesy comedy, and occasional drama.

Why do you watch it? Don't you know it's fake?
Don't you know that 24, The O.C., The Office, and all motion pictures without the word "documentary" in them are fake? I'm just following the trend.

Don't rednecks or people with low intelligence watch it?
Yeah, they do. So do the middle class and upper class and whoever it appeals to. Just like other television programs. Even hillbillies watched Frasier.

Don't you know the fights are fixed?
Yeah, so are the ones in Rocky I through V, The Matrix, and Jackie Chan flicks. So are the games in The Longest Yard, Bull Durham, Major League, and (believe it or not) Space Jam. Just because you know Batman will win in the end, it doesn't ruin the whole movie.

It's not a real sport.
I never said it was. It's not supposed to be. However, fans themselves can judge how good a match is much like judges for ballet, ice skating, and gymnastics. It's an exhibition of athleticism, not a contest.

The acting is terrible.
Yeah, it can be at times. Just like in a lot of soap operas and every Keanu Reeves movie ever.

How am I supposed to take this (character/storyline) seriously?
There is something called imagination along with suspense of disbelief. Like other programs, wrestling hits at times and misses in others. It's hard for me to believe that there is this guy who masters a mysterious, invisible energy that can give special powers so he can defeat a masked-helmet wearing man with a weird name . Yet I enjoyed watching Luke Skywalker beat Darth Vader anyway.

Those guys aren't real athletes. They don't experience pain like real athletes.
A few aren't in great condition, but 90% are in better condition than NFL offensive linemen at the very least. However, I know that the guys that are on television every week are getting slammed on canvas covered wood at least 4 days a week, traveling around the country (sometimes the world if there is an international tour) for over 45 weeks a year with no off season. I'm not comparing who has it tougher when it comes to other sports, but it's hard pressed to not call them athletes.

Those are my answers. That's it. I'm done. I'm tired of always answering questions about wrestling as if it were something other than a television show or a theatrical production. I'm sick of defending my reasoning for liking it other than mere taste. If you want to talk to me about it further, I'm all for it. Just don't treat it separately from any other television show. If people want to grill me to make me feel inferior for watching it, quit wasting my time. There's no reason for me to talk about it to someone who isn't open to understanding it in the first place.

Summer Movies

Originally written on May 30, 2006

I love summer. The warm weather. The cookouts. There is only one thing that will make me stay indoors for a chunk of time. New movies. I love summer movie season. While the Oscar-worthy, artsy flicks that I like to watch occur during the holiday season, summer flicks are the ones that are the most fun. Join me, as I look into some of the movies I plan on viewing this summer.

The Da Vinci Code
Saw it. Read the book. It'll save you over two hours of watching Tom Hanks and Ian McClellan desperately trying to shove good acting into a terribly written movie. And no, it won't change Catholicism as we know it.

X-men: The Last Stand
I saw it. It's pretty good, but it should have been better. Also, the way it ended and the disappointing response to it tells me that there will be an X4, but it'll be a long time before it'll be considered. Who do I blame for the disappointment? Two words. Damn Superman!

Superman Returns
Yeah, I'm going to watch it, but it'll have to live up to the hype. First it stole one of the main actors from X3, thus making his role in that movie shorter than it should have been. Second, it stole the director of the first two X-men flicks. So I'm already prejudiced against it. Also, I'm pissed at the fact that this movie isn't a restart to the Superman franchise like Batman Begins was to the Batman franchise.
This movie is telling us to forget Superman 3 and 4 from the original Christopher Reeve series and that this is the real sequel to Superman 2. First of all, while the Christopher Reeve series was classic, the last Supes movie was over 20 years ago! So they have already alienated people that have never seen Supes 1 and 2.
Also, I feel bad for Brandon Routh. Who? Exactly. The man is a virtual unknown, which is good since the Superman character could have been freshened up. However, I'm afraid that because this is the new Superman 3, Routh will be forced to play Christopher Reeve as Superman as opposed to playing Superman. Christopher Reeve is and was Superman, but it's time to move on. Batman Begins would have sucked if they asked Christian Bale to look and act like Michael Keaton as Batman. I'm just watching this flick due to the hype and because I think Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor is the best casting decision ever.

Cars
It's Pixar. They haven't made a bad movie yet. Why should that change?

Nacho Libre
Jack Black + Lucha Libre + director of Napoleon Dynamite = I can't possibly be disappointed.

Clerks 2
A sequel for a movie that's over 10 years old. Probably suck, but I'm a sheep who'll follow Kevin Smith into a mud pit filled with alligators that have knives for blood.

Snakes on a Plane
The only movie that is a cult classic before the official trailers have been released. The title explains it all. Samuel L. Jackson signed on to do the movie after seeing the title alone. Check this out. There is this plane right? And then, someone unleashes a crapload of snakes into it. That's the movie. This movie is also the first flick to go way out of it's way to actually add profanity and violence in post production! It'll be terrible, but it'll be fantas-terrible!

So enjoy the weather and if you need A/C, check out your local theater.

Earthy Superheroes

Batman. Superman. Wonderwoman. Spiderman. Captain America. The Flaming Carrot. These are a few of many examples of the title of "superhero." Realistic heroes such as MLK, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa inspire others and renew the spirit of humanity. Superheroes, I would argue, are just as important. I'm not trying to be glib nor deflate the impact of the real heroes mentioned and others, however the fictional heroes have inspired ages upon ages of people. Who you might ask? Think of the stories of Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan, Odysseus, Hercules, and the Greek gods. Name one boy who didn't want to live up to the bravery and noble standard set by King Arthur. Or a girl who didn't admire Hester Prynne living above and better than those who dubbed her a whore. Why do people feel inspired by such heroes? Because they can relate to them, but also because we are in awe at the moments in which we stop and say "man, I wish I can/have the guts to do that."When it comes to superheroes, that's when things could get hokey. The stereotypical superhero, especially in comics from the 1950's, had little problems outside of beating up bad guys.

While kids love superheroes based upon their powers and the kids' fantasy to have such power, adults have a hard time relating to most superheroes. Superman is a great example of this. Name a superpower, Superman has/had it. No one can truly stop him, they can only slow him down. He is a goody two-shoes with a good looking girlfriend and the only thing that can stop him is a green rock that is extremely scarce. Heck, he can even turn back time to stop or save someone if he fails. He has nothing to lose, nothing to risk, and very little personal drama outside of whether or not someone can identify him after he takes off his glasses.Where is the stuggle? Where's the relatability? This is one of many examples of heroes that no one outside of kids can relate to.

However, I wish to argue that there are a handful of heroes that an older crowd can admire and relate to. The best heroes that are written are the ones that are flawed, but try to do their best anyway. Here are some superheroes that I believe can inspire the kid and adult in all of us, along with being able to relate to in real life.

Batman
I'm probably biased since Batman has been my favorite hero since I was a kid, but as I grew into a man, I have a greater appreciation for the Dark Knight. In terms of inspiration, it might sound silly to be in awe of a man dressed like a rodent, however King Arthur had a magician to help him so I still feel validated. Batman embodies mankind's drive to be perfect. He has no powers. He trains. He trains his body. He trains his mind. He is always prepared. He always thinks before he acts. Reading some of his training and his methods, it makes a person think that there could feasibly be a Batman. He knows his limits, and beats them.

In terms of relatability, the very thing that drives Batman is regret and survivors' guilt. He always wish he could have done more to prevent his parents' death. He should have been braver. Should have been stronger. So he becomes these things he was not. Then he had a surrogate son die (the second Robin). He should have been faster. Should have been stronger. He tries again. This drive and this mission drives his loved ones away from him since Batman has to be more than a man. More than Bruce Wayne.

How can we relate? Imagine your dream, your mission, your career. How much did you have to sacrifice to get it? How much pain did you go through? And then you realize that it still wasn't enough. Batman's mission is not vengeance, his mission is to keep his own sanity. In many cases, Batman is just as screwed up as the very people he fights against.

Green Arrow
Oliver Queen is a jerk. I don't mean it in a smartmouth, wiseguy way. Let me tell you about Green Arrow. He fights crime and injustice. He stands up for the common man and humanity. He is one of more down to earth heroes in that he has no powers but his archery and ingenuity.

He also constantly cheats on his longtime girlfriend no matter how many times he tries remain monogamous. He had an illegitimate child that grew up to become the second Green Arrow which he claims he knew nothing about (even though he was present at his birth). His sidekick became a heroin addict under his supervision. He is stubborn, inconsiderate, and always disappoints those closest to him.

And no one knows that more than he does. Yet he tries to do the right thing anyway. He gets up and tries to do the best for the whole, despite his personal crap.

Think about the things that you do or have done, that you wish you could change about yourself. Ponder the habits that you wish to get rid of or the skeletons that you want to clean out of your closet. You say you will change. But you fail. Again. And again. How many of us try to forget our problems by throwing ourselves at our work or through charity. Not as atonement mind you, but as a distraction. That is Green Arrow in a nutshell. Trying his best to not better himself, for it seems to be futile, but at least make a difference for everyone else.

Spiderman
Watch the first movie. A young nerd is given powers. In normal superhero comics, he'd have the girl, money, and love of the public (I'm looking at you, Superman). Spiderman is the only hero that I can think of whose life is worse off with powers than without.

Peter's uncle dies due to Peter's sin of inactivity. Spiderman is publicly labeled a menace and is hated by most people. He cannot balance his life as Spiderman and Peter Parker. His guardian is always in poor health. He is always in financial peril. His worst enemy is his best friend's father. And just when he finds a partner to share this burden though his wife, she is murdered. It seems like whenever Spiderman wins, he loses tenfold.

I don't think I need to justify relatibility. Everyone loses. Everyone has moments of triumph closely followed by stress or failure.

Wonderwoman
While on the surface she seems to be the female carbon copy of Superman, I disagree. Why? Because she is more than a superpowered woman. She is as strong, as fast, and probably even smarter than Superman, but she is seen as the lesser. It's unfair. However, her character always rises above sexism. She knows the importance of peace and reason, the reason why she is an ambassador of her nation. However, she also has the presence and drive needed in war, which is what makes her a great soldier.

She breaks the stereotype of both the tomboyish warrior woman along with the stereotypical delicate superheroine. She demands respect and deserves it. If she has any flaws, it would be her stubborness, however right or wrong she needs to be stubborn in order to be taken seriously at times due to patriarchal bias.

I think she is relatable because how many women are subjected to be compared to men, no matter how successful? How many women are actually equal and even superior to men in work, mind, and/or sport but aren't held as high in regard as men? She is also one of the few superheroines that doesn't flaunt her sexuality and rely on her body. She is also one of the smarter characters written. All of this and it does not compromise her feminity.

There are probably more superheroes that I could write about, however I believe I made my point. Superheroes, like it or not, are the modern mythology. I believe that 500 years from now, the Avengers and the Justice League will be spoken much like we talk about the Norse gods and the Gods of Olympus. One can be inspired by these modern myths like other heroes, if you look hard enough.